Budhisattva

I am often overwhelmed by gratitude
needing less stuff
wanting only more free time
hoping to exit the irreparable
cycle of Life with joy
and to leave behind love
and clear proof of my affection
for you and for myself.

I can't think of a better goal
than to love you as best I can --
whomever you are, where ever
you might be.  The rest is the folly of ego
and the reaction to Fear
which the man-made world has learned
is an effective crowd management device
and recruiter of laborers for their system,
which I had to learn to love,
and cooperate with
and forgive,
as may you.

And a good joke.  Can't live with out 'em.
Jokes are like the mules
that carry all the heavy crap
you should forget
so you can carry your happiness
and your smile
and a pillow,
a soft, clean pillow
as you stride out into
the universe, unsure if it is womb
or casket.

CityZEN NOW

1.
I am not an economist, but I will say this anyway, with as much authoritive language as an economist might: the principle glitch in the capitalist system is not that it promotes individualism, competition, consumption, selfishness, entitlement and the like but that it does not, at the same time, promote community, cooperation, sustainability, and gratitude --

2.
but I look around and things seem to be changing for the better;

3.
systems are not designed to be perfect, but to be maintained and constantly revised and updated;

4.
step one to a solution to a problem of a social nature is to voice your concerns. To complain, essentially. Then learn the rules of the game, be victorious here and there as often as possible so that the rules or the game itself changes. Eventually, the Powerful must be willing to change;

5.
Powerful people from the old paradigm tend to be afraid of change and thus come across as stubborn and mired in a logic that is no longer appropriate for government nor dissemination among newer generations of citizens, society, and living conditions;

6.
It's not really their fault;

7.
Mom says God's timing is perfect. Believe in moms and family in general;

8.
We are the architects of good and evil, both of which grow or perish like epidemics or memes. We and Life are the doorway between Spirit and Reality, Then and the Future;

That's not all but I'll shut up now. You go out there and enjoy.

Speaking

Speak the future

your spirit

goodness

into existence

and actions speak louder

than words.

Myselves 2: Bike ride

2.

Today I was riding my bike home going against traffic on a one way road. But it isn't my fault because there are no other roads to get to my house, really. There are, but they are totally out of the way and they are cobblestoned and my bike has fine road tires so cobblestones aren't that fun to ride on. Anyway, I was coming home and was approaching this intersection. I looked around for cars and stuff because Brazilian drivers have not evolved any standardized, functional driving etiquette. Then, all of a sudden, another guy on a bicycle is coming with traffic, my way, on my side of the road. He isn't looking either, of course, he is looking for cars because they are the main danger. But he continues pedaling along and I finally say, “amigão!” just as he is like a meter in front of me. There is a car turning onto our road and the driver sticks her head out the window, slows down and looks at us both as we collide and says, “olha só, 'ta tendo um accidente de bicileta na rua!” and I wanted to slap her right there and then but it was statement of fact. Indisputable. There was in fact, a bike-on-bike accident being had in the middle of the fucking road. A legitimate cause for embarrassment. But my beef was not just with Miss Óbvia.

I rode away a little angry and a little humored and I kind of had to make a choice of whether I wanted to be angry about what happened or just laugh it off. I ended up analyzing my anger and listening to Joao The Angry. Joao the Angry was like, “that motherfucker! He wasn't even looking. Fucking Brazil, man. I tell ya...” meanwhile another Joao is listening, many Joao The Sharp, and he is like, “wait a minute, was I looking?” So then both Joaos tried to remember. They each asked themselves, “what did I see, where was I looking, what do a remember about what just transpired?” Nothing. Both of em drew a blank! No one knows where Joao was at that moment and so Joao was probably where ever the other guy on the bike was: trying to make sure a wild Brazilian behind a wheel wasn't going to run his ass over. Both Joao and the other guy where simply riding their bikes, looking out for their lives and each totally forgot to think that the other might be there. And that is Life.

So, I wasn't mad about it anymore, but not being mad was kinda a bummer because I had no one to blame, really, but myself and Chance or whatever and that's not nearly as cool. It would have been so much easier and natural to tell a story in which I was the guy who was right and he was the guy who was fucking ignorant and wrong and stupid. I mean, I'm not stupid. I don't do stupid things and usually problems are not my fault.

Let it be noted: that last comment was Joao the Man talking out of turn.

Myselves 1

1.

“When I talk to myselves,” began Jimmy (or whomever he might have been at the moment), “I ask myself three questions: Is this idea actually any good?; Am I the first dude to have the idea? And if not, is someone else with way more resources and money already working on the idea? If so, great, let him do it. I don't need to do it.” That night (July 3rd 2014), Jimmy claimed that maybe creation isn't all it is cracked up to be. I think he used the expression, “the bee's knees”, which is an expression I really like. But the idea of “myselves” is pretty interesting and got me thinking just now, which is the 4^th of July, the day after the above commentary by Jimmy.

Today I am thinking, there are many Joaos.  There is Joao the Man: Joao The Man is a Joao who walks around thinking he is The Man and sometimes feels like he is The Man and even tells himself sometimes, usually in his head, in private, in a whisper, “you're The Man”. Then there is Joao the Humble. Joao the Humble is a Saint type character designed, most likely, to temper Joao the Great or Joao the Man (he has more than one name for himself, come to think of it). Joao The Humble is pious and religious and makes Joao the Flesh pray before lunch and dinner and makes him really think twice before repeating mistakes. Joao the Humble does not always win and is super understanding. There is Joao The Rebel and Joao the Sharp. Joao the Rebel has a disdain for Life and an often uninformed criticism of Reality and/or The System. He is always kind of like, “Fuck this Shit", whatever or whomever it may be. Then Joao The Humble comes by and talks to him. Sometimes this talk takes days. And Joao The Flesh walks around pensive and people call him moody and then Joao The Sensitive appears:  he usually hides in the darkness of my mind because the brightness of the Realm of Living Energy just makes that motherfucker crazy...Joao The Sensitive can't handle shit, but he is pretty good at certain stuff...like being sensitive. And expressing that sensitivity. Joao The Sensitive has a vivid imagination and kind of can't distinguish between what he feels and what is quote unquote “real”. He sort of lives in a place with no lines, no boundaries, where all is One and Chaos is the true reality and living is simply making sense of all of that chaos and building a little sand castle to pass the time, until high tide, until bed time.

Morning

Ginger can be grated 

and thrown into hot water

in the morning before the ants wake up

and make yet another attempt

at the inside of the honey jar

which I have learned to tie up

in a plastic bag by now.

Ants are outwitted once again.

At this hour in the South American winter

the sky is pink, openning up.

In the quiet, everything seems more

fragile.  You walk lighter,

you place things more gently,

you turn the pages more carefully.

Give me a kiss, too,

sacred Silence.  It'll remain

between just the two of us --

I will never tell --

you can keep a secret,

can't you?