Myselves 2: Bike ride

2.

Today I was riding my bike home going against traffic on a one way road. But it isn't my fault because there are no other roads to get to my house, really. There are, but they are totally out of the way and they are cobblestoned and my bike has fine road tires so cobblestones aren't that fun to ride on. Anyway, I was coming home and was approaching this intersection. I looked around for cars and stuff because Brazilian drivers have not evolved any standardized, functional driving etiquette. Then, all of a sudden, another guy on a bicycle is coming with traffic, my way, on my side of the road. He isn't looking either, of course, he is looking for cars because they are the main danger. But he continues pedaling along and I finally say, “amigão!” just as he is like a meter in front of me. There is a car turning onto our road and the driver sticks her head out the window, slows down and looks at us both as we collide and says, “olha só, 'ta tendo um accidente de bicileta na rua!” and I wanted to slap her right there and then but it was statement of fact. Indisputable. There was in fact, a bike-on-bike accident being had in the middle of the fucking road. A legitimate cause for embarrassment. But my beef was not just with Miss Óbvia.

I rode away a little angry and a little humored and I kind of had to make a choice of whether I wanted to be angry about what happened or just laugh it off. I ended up analyzing my anger and listening to Joao The Angry. Joao the Angry was like, “that motherfucker! He wasn't even looking. Fucking Brazil, man. I tell ya...” meanwhile another Joao is listening, many Joao The Sharp, and he is like, “wait a minute, was I looking?” So then both Joaos tried to remember. They each asked themselves, “what did I see, where was I looking, what do a remember about what just transpired?” Nothing. Both of em drew a blank! No one knows where Joao was at that moment and so Joao was probably where ever the other guy on the bike was: trying to make sure a wild Brazilian behind a wheel wasn't going to run his ass over. Both Joao and the other guy where simply riding their bikes, looking out for their lives and each totally forgot to think that the other might be there. And that is Life.

So, I wasn't mad about it anymore, but not being mad was kinda a bummer because I had no one to blame, really, but myself and Chance or whatever and that's not nearly as cool. It would have been so much easier and natural to tell a story in which I was the guy who was right and he was the guy who was fucking ignorant and wrong and stupid. I mean, I'm not stupid. I don't do stupid things and usually problems are not my fault.

Let it be noted: that last comment was Joao the Man talking out of turn.